What is NVC? What Makes it so Effective?
(Time to read: ~ 2 minutes)
NVC is a way of understanding and communicating about our experience, and the experience of others.
Its objective is to create a particular kind of connection.
It seeks to create a quality of connection
in which everyone’s needs are equally valued
and are met through natural giving.
What is “natural giving”?
NVC notices that we human beings naturally like to contribute to other people – it is fun for us! (As long as our own needs are met.)
So “natural giving” is when we give to others because we want to,
- not because we feel pressured to do so,
- not because we feel guilty, ashamed or embarrassed,
- not because we want other people to like us.
When we give just because it’s fun!
What is the value of this kind of connection?
What I like about the image above is that it reminds me of the power I experience when things are plugged into an electrical socket.
I can feel the power buzzing between my hands when I hold a plugged-in extension cord in one hand and the cord of a plugged-in appliance in my other hand.
It’s like the power I feel when another person and I are really connected.
With electrical power, the simple action of creating a connection transforms my printer and computer from being useless paperweights and gives me access to an enormously expanded range of options.
The same thing can happen when we connect as human beings in this mutually supportive way.
How does NVC support this kind of connection?
NVC invites us to focus on four key elements when we communicate – four key building blocks to create this kind of connection.
Each of the next 4 pages will explain one of these 4 elements, and give you a chance to try it out.
What do you want to get out of this series?
People generally find that they get the most out of this series if they first identify something specific they want from it.
If you are willing to fill it your “one key thing” below, I can send it to you at the end of the series, so you can notice if and how the course has helped you meet it.
Other people’s objectives have included:
- Be more effective in dealing with criticism from my boss – or my customers, patients, clients, or parishioners!
- Know how to respond to my children or students when they’re upset about something – or when they say “I don’t want to talk about it”
- Handle it better when an employee or fellow team member makes a mistake – not blowing up, but not ignoring it either
- Be able to talk to my partner about things that aren’t working for me – so that they take me seriously, and we can make decisions together about how to make things work better for both of us.
If you didn’t already fill out the form above, will you take a minute to do that now?
Next…The First Building Block of Connection!