Special Program Coming Next Year
(Time to read: ~5 minutes)
I’ve been wanting to do this for years. But there always seemed to be a good reason for “not now”.
Today I read an article that said a key to success is to have a unique point of view about the problems you help people resolve.
What I Help People With
I help people who are worried or frustrated about one or more situations in their lives – business and/or personal.
People who want to DO something to make things better – but who are worried about making them worse.
My Unique Point of View
In order to do this, the first thing you need is the space to express exactly how you are thinking and feeling
– in whatever language feels true for you in the moment – regardless of whether it’s politically incorrect, or includes swearing.
This is how you get clear about all of what’s really going on for you in the situation – which is vital to taking effective action to create change.
And you need to be able to express all of this to someone who will hear and really “get” how you are.
Without judgment. Without giving advice. But also without “buying in” to your sense of frustration and helplessness.
Someone who knows that you are a strong and skilled person who is capable of creating the change you want to see – but a vital first step in that process is for you to be able to express exactly how you are right now.
This kind of support is very rare in our world.
They Can’t Do It
Even worse, we naturally want to be heard in this way by the people we think are the cause of the problem.
But they are the last people on earth who are going to be able to hear you this way.
Because, if you’re not happy about the situation, I will guarantee that they aren’t either – or else they’re afraid they won’t be happy if you change things.
So if you start to freely tell them how you think and feel, they are likely to get defensive, or start attacking you. Making the situation even worse.
The People Who Care About Us
So instead, you may talk to people who care about you, or who see things the same way you do.
And that can often make you temporarily feel better. When they take your side and tell you you’re right. Who doesn’t like that?
But deep inside, you have this niggling feeling that something’s off. Because some part of you knows that isn’t the whole story.
And if it is, that’s almost worse, because then there’s often little you can do to make the situation better.
You need an empathy partner. Someone who has developed the capacity – the muscle – to hear you with care and compassion, without buying into your story.
So you can dig down through the layers of your truth – to the empowering bedrock of what you truly need and want in the situation. The first key to making it happen.
But, as I’ve said, this kind of person is rare.
The clients I’ve worked with over the years – many of whom have worked with multiple therapists, counselors and coaches – have told me that my way of listening is unique in their experience:
- It’s compassionate and sensitive without seeing people as “wounded”
- It supports people to shift their experience of a situation from “negative” to “positive” without using any kind of force
- It doesn’t just make people feel better, it helps them find their unique way forward – with steps that they look forward to taking.
If you’d like that kind of support now, I’d love to support you. Just click on one of the links at the bottom of this post.
Coming Next Year
I love doing this work – and seeing the people I work with getting such great benefits from it.
But I’m only one person. And Toronto is a very big city.
My dream is for everyone to have access to this kind of space to freely express themselves whenever they need it –
and to be heard with this combination of compassionate acceptance and trust in their capacity to create the change they want.
So we can build a world where everyone’s needs are being met.
The Empathy Buddy Program
Eventually I want to create Team Empathy – a collaborative group of people working to bring this quality of empathic listening to the broader community.
But first you need to receive a consistent flow of empathy yourself – and learn the skillful art of bringing it to others.
That’s the purpose of The Empathy Buddy Program I’ll be starting in the new year. It’s a multi-faceted program that includes:
- Training in both the “visible” and “invisible” aspects of this kind of empathic listening
- Opportunities to practice with different partners throughout the program both “in class” and (if you wish) between sessions – including suggestions on how to structure those optional sessions
- A unique set of questions you can ask yourself to check whether you are “on target” or have slipped into one of those familiar, oh-so-easy “not quite there” habits we all bring with us
- Gentle, supportive, encouraging feedback on your next learning edge to build your empathic skill
- Opportunities to get answers to your questions from me
- Best of all, the opportunity to receive regular infusions of empathy about the real-life challenges that you face every day.
- BONUS: Don’t Settle! How to make fully satisfying decisions
If you’ve ever felt “stuck”, not sure what to do about a situation, this ground-breaking process will help you find your unique and satisfying way forward.
Stay Tuned for More…
I’m currently working to get skilled with a new technology I’ll be using to support connection among the group when we meet “online”
– so we can start as a whole group, then you can be paired with an empathy buddy for a period of time, then return to the whole group – without having to do anything yourself,
I’m also intending that there will be periodic opportunities for those who wish to meet “live” and in person here at my studio.
I’ll be sharing more about this program in the coming newsletters.
Interested? Would you like to help?
- If you’re interested in participating in the program, it would be helpful to know what days of the week and times would work for you to participate? Click here to send me an email.
I’m expecting that the initial program will run for 6 weeks, starting in late March.
- Are you “tech-savvy”? I’m looking for someone to manage our technology platform (most likely Zoom) during the sessions,
– including putting people into pairs and small groups during the class,
– returning everyone to the “big group”, and
– helping individuals who are having technical challenges.
If this appeals to you, click here to send me an email with your skills and background.
- Not tech-savvy, but willing to help us test the technology to make sure it works for you?
I’ll be wanting to run a few shorter sample sessions before the program begins – to ensure the technology is working smoothly for everyone.
We’ll do some practice exercises, some Q&A, and, knowing me, there will likely be a teaching component if people are interested.
If this is something that interests you, click here to send me an email and let me know!
Want This Kind of Support Sooner?
If you want this kind of skilled empathic support now, you can book a coaching session here
Or, if you’d like to talk about whether we’re a good fit, you can book a free consultation here
I wish you a wonderful holiday season. And I look forward to “seeing” you again in the new year!