Overcoming the 3 Challenges of Effective Communication
(Time to read: ~4 minutes)
The “Why” of Small Group Mentoring
- Marshall Rosenberg, the developer of NVC / Compassionate Communication, has given us a remarkable set of tools for creating collaborative connection with others – to achieve goals and visions, and to resolve conflicts
- And in more than 10 years of teaching this amazing approach, I’ve noticed that people experience 3 consistent and significant challenges in learning to apply these tools in day-to-day life.
Challenge #1 – What to do when?
- Many people feel unsure about which tool to use when to move a conversation or a situation in a positive direction
- Others think they know, but find that they are not as effective with the tools as Marshall was – and they don’t understand why.
- Both of these things happened to me too in my journey of learning NVC.
Addressing Challenge #1
- My passion became to uncover the most effective and efficient process for using these tools – one that consistently prevented and resolved conflicts – peacefully, effectively and permanently.
- I spent years studying how Marshall and others actually used his tools in real situations to do this, including during my time working for the international Center for Nonviolent Communication that Marshall founded, in my role of Communication Coordinator.
- Out of this training and experience, I developed a first version of this process for use in real life with people who don’t know or practice this work.
- Then I spent years testing and refining the process in my own life, until it was consistently producing the results I wanted.
- Finally, I focused on learning how to teach this process to others so that they could get those benefits as quickly and easily as possible.
Challenge #2 – The 3 Levels of Learning – Understanding, Skill, Habits
- I have been successfully teaching this process in private one-on-one sessions for years.
- But not everyone can afford to work with me privately.
- And training can only provide the first level of learning: conceptual understanding.
This is a huge advantage in dealing with decisions or conflicts, but there are two other levels that dramatically improve our effectiveness in applying it.
- Those are:
– Building skill in “doing” each of the components
– Building habits of actually using these components – so that they become a real alternative to the instinctive “reactive” responses that our bodies urge us to make when we feel under threat.
- Building these skills and habits takes practice – using the process over and over again until it becomes our “go to” response.
- But I’ve learned that practice is not enough.
Challenge #3 – Blind Spots – Why Practice is Not Enough
- The problem is that we can’t see our own blind spots – we can’t see the places where we think we are applying the principles and tools, but we’re actually a bit off-target: we’re missing something.
- In order to identify and address our blind spots, we need the support of others: we need feedback.
- But feedback from people with the same or less experience with this work that we have can lead us astray – away from the full connecting and creative power of this approach.
- That’s why I have chosen to study with the most skilled teachers I could find. And to invest my time and financial resources in becoming a Certified Trainer in this work.
- Subjecting myself to this scrutiny and feedback has not always been comfortable in the moment.
- It has made me compassionate to the experience of others that I’m supporting – so that together we find ways to make it as comfortable, encouraging, and inspiring as possible to uncover areas for further learning and growth.
The Prize – The Benefits of this Work
- Many people who meet me today tell me that they find me compassionate, upbeat, and insightful.
- They are delighted with the power I’ve helped them to discover – the skills to address difficult issues and make their relationships better and more satisfying over time.
- And I enjoy my life more than I ever have before because of these skills.
- This is a huge change from how things used to be.
- When many people saw me as critical and negative.
- And I found life difficult and painful because I felt helpless, battered and bruised by the people around me.
- I’m so grateful for the change!
Why I do this work
- I want everyone to have the opportunity to enjoy their lives fully.
- And I believe that gaining these skills is the fastest, easiest, and most effective way to achieve your dreams and enjoy your life.
- Because effective communication is the foundation for achieving goals and getting along well with others in all areas of your life – including gaining their support to help you fulfill your dreams.
Why you might want to join these sessions
If you have not worked with me before,
- Learn what to do when – the step-by-step process that I teach – for effectively applying Marshall’s tools to prevent and resolve conflict in all areas of your life. This is level 1 of the learning.
- Build skill and enhance your life at the same time – through personalized practice and support focused on how to address real challenges in your own life.
- Receive customized support and personalized advanced training – based specifically on where you want to learn and grow.
- Speed your progress by learning from the experience of others..
- Celebrate your successes in a safe, supportive, and encouraging environment – and
- Get compassion and support when challenges arise, or things don’t go so well.
If you have worked with me before,
- Refresh and enhance your understanding through the latest and most colourful tools I’m constantly developing to share the concepts.
- Learn the latest refinements I’m uncovering – to make the process even easier, smoother, and faster.
- Support for advanced learners – Receive support that builds on your existing skills – focused on what you want next.
This is really important to me because, as I gained more and more skill myself, I found that many training/learning opportunities were not very stimulating or supportive for me because we kept going over things I already knew.
So my goal is for you to feel stimulated and supported in each session by material and insights that are specifically targeted to your advanced learning level.
For More Details or To Register