How to Spring-Clean Your Relationships

 In Blog, Satisfying Relationships

(Time to read: ~2 minutes)

I woke up Saturday morning to the sound of my neighbor’s vacuum cleaner.

And throughout the weekend, I saw many other examples of people freshening up their homes and gardens.

It was a great reminder of that upsurge of life that occurs as the days get longer and warmer.

Are there Dust Bunnies in the Sunshine of Your Life?

Just as households can seem kind of “dusty”  in the fresh, clear light of spring, so can relationships.

It’s hard to deal in the moment with all the little bumps and disconnects that occur in our everyday relationships – whether at work or at home.

But over time they can accumulate into quite a pile of “stuff” under the relationship carpet.

While I’ve sometimes had fun “beating” the dust out of a rug, I don’t find that works very well in relationships.

So how can we refresh our relationships, and clear out any accumulated “gunk” – in a peaceful and connected way?

Step 1 – Look for the Beauty

When I had a garden, I loved going out in the spring on a treasure hunt – looking for the tender young plants that had just begun poking their heads through the soil.

I find this is a lovely strategy to use in my relationships – to go looking for the beauty:

  • The contributions the other person makes to my life that it is easy to take for granted or overlook.
  • The parts of myself that show up more fully through my connection with them.

Just by noticing these two things, I bring more light and ease into the relationship.

And it stimulates even more aliveness if I can find a way to express my appreciation in a way that the other person can receive pleasure and nourishment from it.

Step 2 – Clear out what’s in the way

In order to enjoy the fresh green beauty of the young plants in my garden, I generally had to clear away an accumulation of leaves and other “stuff” that covered up the new growth.

In relationships, I think about these as our “grumbles” – hurt, disappointment and unmet needs that did not dissolve on their own, but are continuing to “clutter up” the beautiful garden of that relationship.

Learning how to “compost” grumbles into life-enriching nourishment for relationships is one of the most precious skills I’ve learned.

And it’s the thing I most like to support others to learn.

Step 3 – Take Time to Enjoy

Life seems so busy for so many of us these days.

It’s easy to put off taking time to bask in the sunshine of our important relationships.

I invite you to set aside an extra chunk of time in the next week or month to experience joyful connection with the people who matter most to you.

If you’d like support

If you would like to find it easier to

  • Compost old “grumbles” into renewed life for your relationships
  • Communicate about what’s important to you with important people in your life – in a way that they really hear, understand and want to support you
  • Find solutions to long-standing relationship issues

I’d be happy to have a conversation to see if what I have to offer is a good fit for what you are seeking.
Click here to book a free consultation

I wish you a joyful spring season in the garden of your life.


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