Don’t Settle! 3 Key Tips

 In Blog, Effective Dialogue

(Time to read: 2 minutes)

I’ve been working lately with a couple of people who have found themselves in (to use the technical term) big messes in their lives.

And it’s clear how they got there.

They were in a situation where it was easier “in the moment” to just go along with what someone else wanted, even though they didn’t feel totally comfortable about it.

I mean really, it was no big deal. They could handle it.

And they didn’t want to make a fuss.


But that one “going along with it” led to another, and another, and another…

Now they are in mud up to their ears.

It’s going to be to be difficult, time-consuming and expensive to get out of it and back on solid ground.

And all those people they “didn’t want to bother”? They are very, very, very bothered right now.

Everyone involved is wishing the person who wasn’t comfortable had “made a fuss” way back then.

My heart aches for them all.

How can you avoid this?

  1. Pay attention to those “niggles” of discomfort.
    Take them seriously – they are trying to give you very important information.
  2. Take the time to get really clear about what’s going on for you.
    Figure out what YOU want to have happen.
  3. Speak up and slow things down.
    There’s a lot of pressure to do things quickly these days.
    Most of us are trying to process more information in less time than our systems were designed for.
    Marketers and salespeople love (and generate) a lot of this pressure. Because they know it is easier to say “yes” in the moment than “no”.
    And that can lead to big mistakes and big messes.
    The truly important things in life can accommodate – and deserve – time to get really clear:
    – with yourself
    – with the other people involved
    – about the long-term risks and benefits of all your options.

Would you like support?

  1. To create time and mental space to get clear
    Many of my clients find it hard to do this on their own. There’s so much pressure from the urgent.
    They find the dedicated time we spend together invaluable in helping them recognize what’s truly important to them – and what they want to do about it.
  2. To learn how to “speak up” in a collaborative way – so that other people really hear you, understand and respect what you have to say, and bring their best insights to support you.
    Truly collaborative communication is rare. But it is what helps us avoid messes and create stable and sustainable solutions in all areas of our lives – from work to family to friends and community.
    And it can be learned! I’m living proof. I used to be a very “black or white” communicator – either telling other people what to do, or giving in to what they asked.
    Today, clients appreciate how the approach I teach brings out the best from everyone in the situation – so you end up with better solutions than you initially thought possible.
    And avoid messes. 🙂

Interested? Click here to book a free consultation – to explore what you’re wanting to be different in your life, and how what I offer might support that.

Click here to book a coaching / private training session – for the clarity and skills you need to avoid messes and get the most from your life.

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