How to Make Peace with the Ongoing Challenges in Your Life

 In Blog, Effective Dialogue

(Time to read: ~2 minutes)

What are the ongoing challenge or conflict areas in your life?

Remembrance Day always reminds me vividly of the cost of not finding ways to make peace in the face of conflict.

Some of the conflicts you have are probably external – with other people.

With a co-worker, or your boss. With your partner or parents. Over your child’s room or dress.

And some of them are probably internal – battles with yourself.

Criticizing yourself about your appearance or your choices (from “I shouldn’t have said that” to “I should have been a lawyer”) in a harsh way you would never use with a friend.

I have found that when I wage inner peace – when I find ways to calm the stormy seas of inner conflict – my outer world also becomes more like a sun-lit field of of green.

And I have more resources to handle anything that needs to be addressed with other people.

Waging Inner Peace

I have found there are 3 keys to making peace within:

  1. Hear and value all your inner voices

    The biggest challenge many people have in finding lasting inner peace around an issue is that they are only willing to “listen to one side”.
    All of us have a variety of voices and opinions about everything. But sometimes one point of view consistently “stomps on” another, so the wisdom in that quieter voice doesn’t get heard.
    When that happens, the battle wages on indefinitely – because one of the players needed to make peace is not at the table.
  2. Decode the harshness of the words to find the love and care inside
    Part of the reason you may have difficulty hearing some of those inner voices is that their messages are so often wrapped in hurtful words.
    But the miracle is that every single voice, no matter how prickly the outer “shell”, is always wanting only the best for you.
    And it is doing it’s best to help you get there. You just need to decode or “unwrap” each message to be able to see and hear that.
  3. Craft and “sign” a peace treaty
    When all the voices are satisfied with a plan for the future, the conflict subsides.
    Sometimes the “treaty” involves something you will say or do “out there” with others.
    Sometimes it’s just something you will say silently to yourself.
    In either case, my clients report enormous relief and peace around an area that’s been a big challenge for years.
    So you can spend your time and energy on things that are more fun. 🙂

So what’s a key area in your life that – if you could make peace there – it would make your whole life brighter?

Recent Posts

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.